Supporting Positive Behaviour

Deciding what appropriate behaviour is for a child can be dependent on your own attitudes and beliefs, and as a term it is quite vague. In general, our society values people who show themselves to be independant, individualistic and assertive. However, there are other cultural groups who are more likely to deem cooperation and interdependence( when two or more things depend on each other) as appropriate behaviour. This means it is important to consider the social and cultural background of the families of the children in our care and not to impose any behavioral expectations and values which may be inappropriate.

There are many positive aspects of behaviour that are accepted throughout the world and these should be encouraged, they include sharing, turn-taking, considering others and showing caring and kind behaviour. It is also important that children are taught to negotiate and to see other points of view. Inappropriate behaviour is behaviour that affects others in a negative way.

Children who withdraw or seek attention, self harm or display anti-social traits are exhibiting inappropriate behaviour. This also includes verbal and physical aggression, tantrums, breath holding and ignoring instructions. Children's behaviour can be influenced by many factors, and may be influenced by more than one at the same time.

Examples of influences are:

  • Parenting - styles, stress, depression and disability.
  • Cultural - values, beliefs and practices, and discrimination.
  • Genes - inherited illness and traits.
  • Illness - short and long term or chronic.
  • Poverty
  • Sleep - amount and quality.
  • Diet - quality and quantity.
  • Social Influences - television, advertising and opportunities to socialise with peers.
  • Family circumstances - siblings, home environment, parents health and lifestyle.

As adults our expectations of a child's behaviour should be realistic and take into account the child's age and stage of development and the circumstances at the time of the behaviour. We all have days when we are tired or unwell and this is the same for children.

It is also important to communicate your expectations clearly to the children, and to remind them when they need it. It is very important for adults to have the same expectations of children, in other words to be consistent. Consistency is essential to the behaviour learning process because if the child recieves a different reaction to the same behaviour they become confused and may feel insecure and uncertain how to behave. Adults need to set behavioural goals and boundaries for children and these provide a framework within which children learn acceptable behaviour.

These goals and boundaries must be appropriate for their particular age and stage of development and it is often a good idea to include the children when setting them. If children have involvement in setting the goals and boundaries, they are much more likely to understand them and keep to them. Goals and boundaries for the under 5's should be kept to a minimum so that they remain achievable. This age group will need frequent reminders to that they learn what they are. It can take many months to do so.

All age groups need goals and boundaries explained to them, along with the reasons for needing them. It is important to phrase the goals and boundaries positively. There is a big differnce between "dont run inside" and "we walk when we are inside". The first statement tells children what they should not be doing, but doesnt tell them what is right.

The second statement teaches them appropriate behaviour. If children are aware of the goals and boundaries and they are consistently applied, then this goes a long way to encouraging positive behaviour. There are times when you will be able to "head off" inappropriate behaviour before it begins.

Some strategies for avoiding inappropriate behaviour may include the following:

  • Providing plenty of varied and intersting equipment.
  • Giving sympathy and reassurance to anyone who is hurt or crying.
  • Explaining calmly what has happened to help children to understand situations.
  • Helping them to solve the problem eg finding another buggy.
  • Teaching "please" and "thank you".
  • Teaching goals and boundaries.
  • Acting as a good role model.
  • Keeping noise levels reasonable.

By the time children reach 5, they are beginning to understand goals and boundaries, and their behaviour is usually guided by these. However, they are not ready to control thie behaviour in all situations. They may be aware that the book corner is not the place for zooming around in cars, but their enthusiasm helps them to forget this.

It is important for children of all ages to have high levels of self-esteem, as their behaviour will often reflect how they are feeling about themselves. A child with high self esteem will be able to act independently, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges and be helpful to others. A child with low self-esteem may avoid trying new things, be unable to tolerate frustration, be unwilling to try new tasks and challenges and nned constant adult support. High self-esteem can be encouraged by avoiding criticising the child, providing positive feedback, praising and encouraging, helping children to realise their strenghts, teaching decision making, encouraging hobbies and interests and teaching children to resolve minor conflicts. You should always focus first on children's positive behaviour, rather than their inappropriate behaviour and there are several ways you can do this.

Positive attention - children love to be given positive attention, as it helps them to feel loved and appreciated. It is important to give children regular positive attention, as generally children will try harder to please if their behaviour results in this outcome. Some ways of giving positive attention are by saying "that was very good", "well done!", "I really liked the way you helped each other with that activity", "that's it - you've got the hang of it", "That's a beautiful picture - shall we put it on the wall?", "You've been so helpful today - than you" and "You sat very still to listen to that story - well done".

Role modelling - children will copy the behaviour of adults around them. Because of this, it is important that adults model appropriate behaviour and act in the way they would like the children to act, eg saying please and thank you. It is also important not to contradict yourself. There is no point in shouting to a group of children "There's far too much noise in here" as by shouting you only model an inappropriate behaviour to the children.

Rewards - children also lovebeing given rewards and they are likely to repeat the behaviour that earned them the reward. Eventually the behaviour will become the norm. Rewards for young children mustr be instant, but older children can be told about rewards in advance so they can look forward to them. Rewards can either be something that a child can have, such as stickers, certificates ar a toy, or they can be something such as praise or a round of applause.

When responding to children's behaviour it is important to make your response appropriate to the level of challenge. If a baby is banging a brick on the radiator to make a noise then the best method for dealing with this is probably distraction. On the other hand, if a child is running around hitting and shouting your response will need to be more direct.

Ignore - if the behaviour is not causing any harm to others or to equipment, and is possibly attention seeking, then it can be ignored. Often if a child realises their behaviour is not getting them the attention they want, then they will stop.

Negotiate - this works well with older children, as they are able to wait to have their needs met snd may be able to understand the consequences of their actions.

Distract - this works well with younger children, who can easily be distracted from something they should not be doing.

Allow children to learn from natural consequences - if the behaviour is not causing harm, allow them to continue to see what happens. Often children will learn from this experience.

Time out - during time out a child is taken away from the activity and supervised until the time out is over. The lenght of time is generally the child's age in minutes. During time out the child gets no or little response from the supervising adult. There should not be a specific chair or specific area for time out.

Say no - a firm no is useful for younger children so they understand the boundaries. It can quickly stop inappropriate behaviour.

Eye contact and facial expression - sometimes a "look" will help remind children that they are nearing the boundaries. Once the child shows appropriate behaviour it is important to praise them for doing so.

It is important to remember that it is the child's behaviour that is inappropriate, and that the child is not "being naughty". As children begin to get older, their behaviour can be supported in other ways.

Children aged 6 - 12 years

  • Verbal reasoning
  • Reminders of the consequences
  • Teaching them to learn from their mistakes
  • Talking about making good decisions
  • Being alert to their feelings
  • Asking "what if" questions
  • Appealing to their sense of humour
  • Talking about peer pressure
  • Encouraging self-discipline
  • Withdrawal of privileges
  • Talking about self-control
  • Spending quality time together with parents and carers
  • Giving positive attention

Children 12 - 16 years

  • Circle time
  • Peer support
  • Mediation, where adults can help those involved to talk through the events
  • Conferencing, where all people affected can discuss the type of behaviour and possible consequences
  • Opportunities to discuss behaviour and people's feelings

When a child has behaved inappropriately, this information must be shared with parents. This should happen calmly and at an appropriate time and place, preferably in a seperate room. It should not be shared loudly in front of other parents, with the intention of humiliating or shaming the child.

Physical punishment is never an acceptable method of dealing with child behaviour. It is illegal. You must never deal with behaviour in a way that frightens, physically hurts, threatens or humiliates a child. In extreme circumstances it may be necessary to physically restrain a child to prevent them from hurting themselves or someone else. If this occurs you must use the minimum force possible and record the incident and report it to a superior and parents as soon as possible.

Social learning theorists believe that children learn by "observational learning" ie by watching others. It is spontaneous and children learn naturally by imitating rather than by being shown or taught. Often children may copy behaviour without being aware of it. There are two terms used in observational learning: model and modelling. Albert Bandura conducted a well-known experiment in 1965 using inflatable dolls called Bobo dolls. This experiment looked at the effects on children of seeing aggressive adults and showed that children learned behaviour by watching adults. Bandura showed individual children a film when an adult "attacked" the doll. The adult kicks it, throws it around the room, sits on it and hits it with a toy hammer. The children are then led to a different playroom for free-play. It is stocked with a variety of toys including a Bobo doll, toy hammer, etc and 88% of children imitated the model's aggressive behaviour. Bandura believed this showed children naturally imitate behaviour.

Socialisation is the process through which children learn the behaviour that is acceptable and appropriate to the society in which they live. The process of socialisation involves children learning from the experiences and relationships they form during childhood. The socialisation theory believes that children learn expected behaviour in differnt ways.

Rewards - adults encourage acceptable behaviour by rewarding it. A reward can be a smile, saying thank you or giving praise, it also includes giving children toys or treats. Children also feel rewarded by the good feeling they get when they please an adult. Children want rewards to be repeated and this encourages them to repeat the behaviour that gave then the reward.

Punishment - adults discourage behaviour by ignoring or punishing it. Punishments can take a variety of forms, they include telling children that their behaviour is inappropriate, depriving them of something they want or ignoring their behaviour.

Piaget studied moral judgement, and formed a two stage theory, children younger than 10 years of age think about moral dilemmas in one way, but older children think about them in a different way. Younger children regard rules as fixed. The older child understands that rules can be changed if everyone agrees. Younger children base their moral judgements on the expected consequences, whereas older children base their judgements on intentions.

The work of Kohlberg led on from that of Piaget. He saw moral development as a series of levels each of which having two stages.

Level 1 Pre-conventional morality (7 - 13 years):

  • Stage 1 children are only concerned with their own actions, they have no real empathy and are only interested in escaping punishment.
  • Stage 2 children make judgements based on what please themselves or those close to them.

Level 2 Conventional morality (13 - 16 years):

  • Stage 3 the emphasis is on winning approval and praise from others.
  • Stage 4 the insistence is on not breaking rules or punishment will inevitably follow - guilt kicks in around now and children will blantantly lie rather than admit to wrongdoing.

Level 3 Post-conventional morality (16 - 20 years):

  • Stage 5 the wider society becomes a factor, and the needs of other individuals are seen as not always of prime importance.
  • Stage 6 moral principles and conscience now govern the reasoning of those individuals who reach this height of moral devlopment.

All children aof all ages experience transitions. A transition occurs when a child moves from one care setting to another. Typical transitions include:

  • Starting a setting for the first time ie nursery, childminder, school.
  • Moving within settings ie, from baby to toddler room or from one class to another.
  • New living arrangements ie leaving home, going into hospital.
  • Leaving school and going into work or further education.

During a transition a child may experience a wide range of feelings, as they will be losing familiar people and may be feeling unsettled by this. It is important to prepare children for transitions where possible and support them during the transitional phase. To make a smooth transition:

  • Prepare the child before the event.
  • Listen to children's concerns.
  • Be honest when answering questions.
  • Be positive.
  • Keep explanations simple and reassuring.
  • Allow children to discuss the transition as much as they would like to.
  • Teach children strategies to deal with their concerns.
  • Arrange to visit the new setting.
  • Read books or watch DVDs on the subject.